Always Word of the Year Update

     This is a very hard blog post for me to write.  I am sharing in hopes that it will help someone else as the events shared have impacted me.

     Back in January I had made a post about my word of the year for this year.  The word I felt led to choose was always.  I was thinking today about how this word has impacted my life this year in the first 3 months or so.  I was not happy where this word has been in my life I am ashamed to say.

     In talked to my husband,my family and God, I see the word always in my life a lot but not in the way I had hoped for it to be.  In the conversations I have heard things like this:
1) Always complaining
2) Always trying to get around blame
3) Always taking the stress of one person out on another
4) Always has an excuse for what is not done
This was not what I was looking for when I felt led to this word.  I did not want to hear this from the ones I love, but I needed to hear them.  I didn't to take responsibility and accept it so I could move forward to where I should be.
     I stopped and looked at me and I do seem to point out the negative more than the positive.  If I look for the positive in things it does not mean the negative is not there.  It just means that I am choosing to see the positive and to move forward in a good way and not to wallow in the negative.  It is not that I mean to try to get around being blamed, but my excuse was that others would point out my blame and not theirs.  If I am seeking counsel and advice then I should expect to hear some things I am doing wrong and can work on.  It doesn't matter if others accept their blame but I must accept mine if I am to move forward and change.  Yes, they need to do that too but that is on them and not me.  I really did not want to see that I would get stressed out in one area or with one person and take it out on another til it happened to me a couple of times.  This solves nothing and hurts others.  The one that hurt the most though was that I make excuses when something is not done.  Instead of facing where I am and accepting responsibility it was easier to blame others or to take some truth and enhance it to make it easier on me. 
     The biggest thing I have learned from all this is I cannot change anyone but me.  I am not responsible for anyone but me.  I am not the only one who has issues that they need to work on but the ones that concern me are mine.  I need to always look to where I am, what I need to do and what I am doing.  I always need to seek God and wise counsel and I always need to move forward in living for and serving the Lord.
      I hope when I come back here for the next update on"Always" for this year that it will be a better one.  I am not sharing this for sympathy or for someone to defend me but to be honest and help me and maybe others.

"God often sends us into the hopeless place because it's the hopeless place that we can see the hope of God!" ~Priscilla Shirer

God bless,
Pat