Feeling, well, not really sure what I am feeling?

    I am sharing my heart on the blog today.  I have so many feelings going through my mind and heart.  I want to be the wife, mother, grandmother and child of God I should be.  I know I am saved and have no doubts of my salvation.  I love the Lord with all my heart.  I love my husband with all my heart too.  We have been married for almost 30 years, this August 16th.  I love my kids(all 5 of them) and grands too.  I don't even have to question, I would give my life for them.
     So why I am I not sure what I am feeling?  I don't know?  I am struggling physically, mentally and spiritually. Not asking for sympathy here, just sharing my heart to maybe help myself or someone else.  Maybe I am just talking through the words of this blog, I am not sure.
     Physically, I have several health issues going on right now.  I am trying to make the right choices but it is so hard.  I try and I fail, I try and I fail.  Everyone has told me a different way to fix things but not sure which way to go.  Everyone thinks if you don't do it their way, it is the wrong way.  I just want to figure out what is the right way for me.
     Mentally, I try really hard to let my family and friends know I love them.  I try to tell them and show them.  And yet I always seem to be hurting someones feelings or making them mad. I know cause they tell me so. What am I doing wrong?  How do I fix this?
     I as I said don't doubt my salvation.  I love my ministries I am involved in, the job itself but more than that, the people involved.  The kids at church and the ones at the Nursing home are constantly on my mind and heart.  I love to plan things for them and to do for them.  I pray for them and love them so much. I try to read my bible every day but it seems that it is not enough, I feel empty sometimes.  I don't want to be holier than though, I just want peace and joy, if that makes sense.
     So as the title says, I am not sure what I am feeling.  I just know it is not what I want to be feeling.  I don't want to just do, I want to feel. I would love to hear from anyone who actually reads this.   What do you think?  What do you feel?

Simple Woman's Daybook April 2016

For Today... 

Outside my window... Sunny and warm most days but still having some cool mornings and evenings

I am thinking... that it is time I quit living my life as others think I should and strive to live it more for the Lord

I am thankful... for many things-one of which is my son.....

I am creating...stuff for Missions Conference which starts at church this Wednesday night

I am going... to make more of an effort to have my daily quiet time

I am wondering... why people feel they have to push others down to raise themselves up

I am reading...many books, look for many book reviews coming up on this blog soon

I am learning...to not be a doormat

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A peek into one of my days... 

One of my favorite things... family

A few plans for the rest of the week: Missions conference Wednesday-Sunday night

From the board room {Pinterest}... 

Something I am making my kids that are promoting out of my class "God's Little Froggies" at the end of May!

God bless and if you would like to join in and write your daybook or read others, follow this link.......http://thesimplewoman.blogspot.com/

Pat

Changes are coming~My Heart!

     I have made many attempts to work on myself-to lose weight, break some bad habits and to make new good ones, physical, mental and spiritual.  Many attempts and many failures. But changes are coming.....

     In the past, I have made the changes others thought I should make and the way they thought I should make them.  I made the changes but I failed.  I am so unhappy and miserable where I am.  But I finally faced something, I can't change for others.  I can't change their way.  I have to change for me and how God leads me.  He will never lead me wrong or fail me. So starting today is a new way, God's way!

     I am not going to make big announcements about the changes but am asking for prayers that I make the right ones. Me or no one might notice them at first but small changes become big changes and I hope over time they will become more visible and I will be stronger and make more and more changes.

      I had to realize I am worth it, God will help me and I can do this.  It might not be your way, or their way but if it is God's way, I am going the right direction, the direction towards the way and life God has for me.

God bless and please pray that I will follow God and that the changes will be coming!

Pat