So why I am I not sure what I am feeling? I don't know? I am struggling physically, mentally and spiritually. Not asking for sympathy here, just sharing my heart to maybe help myself or someone else. Maybe I am just talking through the words of this blog, I am not sure.
Physically, I have several health issues going on right now. I am trying to make the right choices but it is so hard. I try and I fail, I try and I fail. Everyone has told me a different way to fix things but not sure which way to go. Everyone thinks if you don't do it their way, it is the wrong way. I just want to figure out what is the right way for me.
Mentally, I try really hard to let my family and friends know I love them. I try to tell them and show them. And yet I always seem to be hurting someones feelings or making them mad. I know cause they tell me so. What am I doing wrong? How do I fix this?
I as I said don't doubt my salvation. I love my ministries I am involved in, the job itself but more than that, the people involved. The kids at church and the ones at the Nursing home are constantly on my mind and heart. I love to plan things for them and to do for them. I pray for them and love them so much. I try to read my bible every day but it seems that it is not enough, I feel empty sometimes. I don't want to be holier than though, I just want peace and joy, if that makes sense.
So as the title says, I am not sure what I am feeling. I just know it is not what I want to be feeling. I don't want to just do, I want to feel. I would love to hear from anyone who actually reads this. What do you think? What do you feel?